Friday 4 October 2019

The most of fears

Living alone.
Dying alone..
The scent of your cologne...
Feeling alone
And the voices in my head won't just stop....
Being dumb
Feeling numb when there's so much to overcome.......
Am afraid of so many things....

Afraid of what I know..
The truth
Words
The thought of hades
Striving for perfection...
Voices playing at the back of my head,
Negative thoughts.
Anxiety.
Feelings that there is nothing I can do to take it away..
Absolute fear of expression.
Depression.

My mind
A place where bad things bloom, one minute i have the power in the room, the next am
Full of self doubt
Sabotage.

I love yous
The distance
The feeling
To speak out
To lean in......
To hold on..
To show it...
Am afraid I cant stop wearing all the versions of my broken heart...

Am afraid
To try out
To be me
Limits
Should I cry now?
What if they find out?
Am afraid of fear...
Relentless fear...
so many things but most of all,

Am afraid this same fear began to drive me to..
So much faith
Determination
Hope
I couldn't help falling into Grace
Remembrance
That it was overcome....
Reason that I can become....


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