Because of obsession

There is an obscure logic of my heart...
I cnt really see what's in my past, I know i must look back
and see what i have done
but no! am choosing ignorance this time...
Some things i did out of anger,
and probably the hunger to learn, to go through
and to discover......

Trying to obfuscate my past
am an adult now........
I try not to face what i have done, and what has happened to me...
because clearly i can handle what has become of me..
 my heart pumps fire,
My veins dry out with desire and thirst for blood...
thick enough to quench this fire..

Some words i never really mean them,
some things i did so i could burn them, to discover and later maintain my squeaky
clean image...
trying to fit in..
seemingly beyond my will to control.

Am a broken record,
full of damaged pieces of
broken promises and empty words,
seemingly perfect yet covered in dark clouds full of lies,
white walls without doors...
In a place i cant run from
THE pAST...

My body is a victim
carrying in my Life's system
far from that of an angel
that some people are....
soo vulnerable , been used
probably misused and misread ..
they toil with it but they cant reach my heart...
it's valiant
its valour picks me up and reminds me of how much value i posses...

The Demon that tried to befriend me,
it left me, found no reason to be wth me..
The eyes i have see no fear,
they look at wrong and yet see good in it...
In total blackness, i see beams of light directing me.
Theres nothing to hide,
the guilt beneath my fears
it beseechs the benevolence
that i poses...

I stumble and fall
break and bleed but nothing
cuts me open,
the most important thing...
Am only human..

well the truth is,
i have my own piece of the story....
am not perfect, i am fond of bending rules,
guilt is my friend, but am trying to divorce it...
All the fifthy things i have dne remind me
That God's mercy and love is beyond my mistakes ..
so i have learnt that obsession is the worst destruction of me...

My Travel piece (The beauty of Nature)

The nature of nature
is the nature i simply dont understand...
Its amazing
i can't stop gazing

at the trees nd their branches,
the hills and their bushes...
The sweet fresh air oozing from them....
its the beauty of nature that
excites me....

Traveling through these roads with goosebumps...
not even feeling these bumps...
My eyes are stuck out the window,
even the wind knows....
The beauty and nature of nature...

incomparable,
nothing can compete it whatsoever....
i say its unbeatable coz even the view out here is unbelievable....
its like plants are talking somehow...
sending messages to my heart
then to my soul,
i feel at eaze,
this is what i need....

The beauty of nature
and its nature...

Nobody cares

I have black messy hair..
swelled white eyes
usually in my sweater
a girl that nobody bothers to understand
but who cares??
my nose still catches the air..

Its like my words hurt people around me
so i keep my mouth taped
with my fingers crossed over my lips...
they dont even know me,
yet they placed me behind dark curtains ..
that am certain

My soul usually hurts
its the pokes of those fingers that they keep pointing at me,
easily and always judged
but i keep no grudge
perhaps you should read my story....

i have quite a smile
i guess it just keeps me alive when in despair..
my type is rare
but nobody cares......

You have no idea what i have been through...
where the darkness in me lies,
theres a light that outshines it.......
but nobody cares

I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME

Lord i need you to hold me

In my foolishness,
you are the wisdom that stands for me,

In my fears,
you are the eyes that see beyond the darkest part of my heart,
you direct my feet where to step and how to move on...
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME

In my sadness and sorrows,
Lord u are the voice that whispers to my heart and soul
and reminds me that i am worth dying for..

Lord when i am broken,
you are the miracle that i need,
you put all pieces together
and you make me whole again....

In the times am doubtful,
you are my surity,
my strong tower, Always giving me the answers i need ...
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME.

When they say am not pretty,
you remind me that am the apple of your eyes,
that am beautiful and was created in ur image...
the best of creation..

When i am drowned in sin, shame and judgements,
you still look at me with love, your arms wide open and ,
you remind me that am a daughter of a King, Accepted...
I Am Yours God..
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME

In my loneliness, u wrap me up in your arms and comfort me....
You never leave me..

when am needing,
you are the help that comes my way at the right time

When people see the worst of me,
you bring out the best in me.
you are my hope,
when i stumble n fall,
u raise me up all over....
again and again...

Am lost without you
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME..
For I know that it is your love and faithfulness that has brought me this far...

For this, i lay down my life before you...
and for the rest of my life God,
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME

Ignorance

sometimes i lay awake in the night
trying to get over a life full of lies.....
when i lookout the window, i yearn fr the dark skies
without the stars.....
hoping my heart could have less of scars .....

I cant see with scientific eyes,
like everybody does.
I don't know how flowers grow
a star is a star as i see, ,
a rose is just a rose.
Am not planet wise, i dont wana know.....

Ignorance is bliss,
i tell my soul.
oh well, it seems so strange to know nothing,
never to be sure of what z real or rather right...
i should probably switch on that light....

I find myself trying to fix things that aint even broken
 its like every word i speak has already been spoken...

 I dont pay much attention to my mind
especially during those hard times
coz when i feel like my life doesn't make sence,
i know its caused by my own tolerable IGNORANCE