Oh good grief

 Oh good grief...

So this has been and can never be again?

Here I am swallowing grief down my tongue

Dancing to the melodic torture of the good times and the love I so deeply feel 

Oh good grief 

I am highly punished 

As life without you is so much harder than I thought.

It's the little moments that I will miss the most I think.

Listening to your stories, talking to you before the end of the day, 

Falling asleep to the sound of your voice and in your arms....

Laughing about everything we found funny,

Waking up to your messages,

Road trips with you,

Every single moment I spent with you,

Holding your hand and hoping it would last forever,

Meeting people with you,

Sunsets with you,

Laying with you

And spending all of my days looking forward to speaking with you. 

Oh good grief!

Once, your words were comforting, 

Now they are serpents in my mind, deeply tormenting...

Each I love you that you ever said has fully left It's venom in my heart

For all I hang on to is a thread of nostalgia. 

Oh good grief

His absence has left an unfathomable void,

It's hard today, not that it has been easy the past few days but it's harder today.

I guess that is how I will end, 

Never recovering from my love.

Oh good grief,

I think I am finally free,

Free from the delusions that rot my soul,

Unshackled from the yoke of obligations I placed myself.

Oh good grief,

My lost love,

I hope you find the love that you are looking for.

I hope you find happiness and fulfillment in life.

I hope you do not find one that will leave your dreams like you left mine. 

I hope you find one that chooses you 

And loves you for who you are!

What Money Cannot Buy

Freedom to sing

Freedom to speak

Freedom to seek

Freedom to write

Freedom to Feel

Freedom to Love

Freedom to be who you want to be

Freedom to Live

Freedom to die 

Freedom to laugh

Freedom to cry

Freedom to dance

Freedom to run

Freedom to have

Freedom to care

Freedom to give

Freedom to dream

Freedom to work

Freedom to try

Freedom to be 

Freedom to see

Freedom to want

Freedom to aim so high

Freedom to choose

Freedom to believe

Freedom to walk

Freedom to roam

That is mostly everything Money Can't Buy

That Girl

 They say blunt force breaks glass, but so does resonance

I am that girl standing underneath the golden tree for my turn to pick up the falling golden leaves in spring time, beneath a tree so beautiful than I could begin to wonder.

I am that girl,

that girl improving my music, my poetry, 

that girl dancing on the shore. No matter what comes my way, I stand here and sing and dance to the music of the sea so beautifully as the waves on it.

I am that girl freely floating ,

Floating in the salt lake that life has specially built around me. I am that girl most traveled to escape and deal with emotions that hang on the balance of my not so sad life. I am that girl now living life, a life I thought was impossible to live. 

A life of Love and freedom and grace.

I am that girl traveling towards everything beautiful because it was meant for me. The girl giving all the love as it should be. A girl happily and madly in love with being me.

The Death Of Me

 What I want,

What I truly desire,

Braiding your tangled hair

Touching your beautiful manly large feet 

I want to taste your flaws, your lips wet with mine

Your arms when your warm white flesh touches mine, your magic embrace

Your kisses against my face

To lay down with you every night and morning

You still live in me and my soul cries for the death of me.

When I looked into your eyes, they were like clocks that stopped when I stared into them

In these moments, everything began to speak

Only in languages love is understood.

The death of me made music with me, music my soul has been dancing to ever since.

He put paintings of life in my imaginations and made me smile like nobody else can

His eyes brought back emotions I couldn't control.

It is the death of me that showed me that love and passion rule over preparation

And made me more independent.

The death of me was a he and he understood me

The death of me loved me so deeply as I him.

And still,

Whatever happened with us, your body haunts mine, tender and slow and the incense I am burning over you brings back every memory of you.

Tu es ma mort

Mathieu. 

On Someday Isle

Someday you will leave that unhappy house and never look back 

And I believe that someday,

you will be happy again, you will be free and you will be okay with being you.

I hope that someday your eyes meet the love of your life and never have to part again. 

I hope that you can be with someone else that will love you more than you ever dreamed of. 

Someday, you will find someone whose words form a bandage which mends your wounds.

 

Someday, all your dreams will come true and everything you ever wanted will happen. Someday, you will inspire others through your stories.

Someday you will realize that you are indeed an amazing person and they will miss you like you missed them, 

someday you will understand why things happened the way that they did and someday, 

you will learn how to love yourself again.

I hope that that day starts today.

Of Letters. To The Girl

To the girl fighting for life and still loving so hard when all around you broke you,

Darling, you are beautiful, and this world deserves your heart.

To the girl fighting battles silently and still giving out their best ....

You delight the hearts that you touch and your smile is more beautiful than the stars. Keep on smiling.

To the girl that has nothing but love and positive energy and compassion to give even when her world is falling apart,

The universe is deeply and madly in love with you.

Your kindness and strength make everything appear so visible, and darling your loveliness knows no bounds and the earth, 

It opens up with flowers to show for it. Flowers of love, strength, faith, passion, and energy unmatched.

To the girl reading this and looking for reasons to hold on, you are so beautiful this piece finds home in your heart. 

Hold on a little longer and one day. The universe will weave its rewards.

Journeying Life

Sometimes,

To pick up the flowers, you got to fight the bumble bee, and so is life.

As you speed out of youth's sunny station and fall down in your hurry, pick your feet up honey and go traveling along.

Enjoy the funniest moments, the best food, and create unforgettable memories and want the best things for yourself. For all that you gather and all that you keep, you must leave when you fall asleep.

So Trump along over the highway of life, knowing not what's ahead but still doing your best and loving the rest!

Live on

What will you do with your one, umtamed and dear life? Die for love or live the reason you were born?

In a minute you could make a new friend or lose one,

Find your true love or lose the wrong one

Or see a life start or end.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others

For as the best books are yet to be written and the best songs yet to be sung, the best is yet to come.

Cheer up, the world is young, and remember that you become who you are in the moments you live life on the line.

Life.

O Goddess of Freedom

 It is as if everything else has slept...

Many of memories forgotten and lost,

The mates that were,

The things done long and not long before

This freedom restored.

The moon and I,

There's none less free than who.

Stars are just stars and the moon, a moon.

For deeds cannot dream what dreams can do...  

Fierce was the flame while it lasted,

Heart of my heart,

Pain of my pain,

Have I offered thee .. 

Goddess of freedom

Aphrodite, restore...

Goddess of freedom and life-loving,

As the daisies run on the dunes to sea

Shall over the world my soul go free.

And over the world to sing and roam,

To dance and eat,

Make glad my feet,

To be carefree and run as the winds do, soft and fleet.

With this freedom, restore

Life to the limbs of me... 

Cast me to the core.

Goddess of freedom,

Now I know how good it is to be forgotten and forget.

To forget the friendships, the hardships and all the people you wish you never met...

In these moments, 

To think of life is sweet.

The shackles fall and drop about one's feet.

Now it seems the world and life are all complete...

As I stand at the grave of everything lost, dreaming of what I will do.

Now that I am free,

Goddess of freedom,

Cast me to the core.

Fallen Flame

I will not carry your heart from the flicker

For my heart's demise is what you cost..

I will not lose my mind or my eyes

Four hundred and fifteen times

Or drawn in depression 

Or sit in the comfort of sharing the woes of our two paged love story

I will go bankrupt of sorrow or thoughts of you

And be happy, 

That I know.

I will be doing this alone

As I have no twin soul or twin flame 

For impatient hearts, indecisive minds

And narcissistic men.

I will follow to the flames

And drag you back with fumes in it.

I will forget our meadow,

Where we used to roam 

Where we used to laugh and smile and dance and lay under the candle light and forget all the troubles of life

But one thing I will never forget?

A thing you will never ever know......

Dear friend

Dear friend,

I don't think you will ever fully understand 

Just how you have touched my heart

How truly special you are

And all the love I have to give....

Like a tree planted in desert land 

You stayed through bad days and stormy nights

And grew with me through whatever seasons came...

Dear friend,

To me, you'll never be old

Through winters cold and summers hot,

You will always be a love I want to hold...

Dear friend

You are my needs answered

A field in whom I saw with love and imperfections and reap with Thanksgiving 

My board and fireside

In you, my trust resides..

Through the bashful nights of November and the forceful light of summer

You never left my side.

I love you

Not only for what you are 

But for what I am when I am with you.

For what you are making of me,

I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done.

Dear friend

As I write

I think awhile of you

And as I think,

Your love to me is a world

Only meat and sweetest drinks 

And a close connecting link between earth and kingdom come.

Dear friend

I just want to say I love you in ways that I cannot express and I am grateful to have you a friend.