Of moving on

 Should the tides ever make rivers to flow backwards?

Should the sun ever disturb the night or darkness overshadow the light??

*Straight into bliss, I am reigniting my love tonight*

Life has taught me to listen to lies and leave them where they stand

High and dry... Behind

To break hearts and never give in...

Run but never hide my emotions and to listen to hearts that hurt and cannot confess .

Last couple of situations taught me to face what comes And be flexible and live in peace and happiness if possible.

Move on, it's okay to lean back, look out, left and right but move on with  just you in mind and that's alright.

For if you find true contentment you'll be truly happy and independent.😊😊

To the angel that stole my heart

Escaping dreams of yesterday is hard and since you closed your eyes to sleep in beauty, letting you go has been the hardest thing for me......

Sometimes I wish it were just a dream, I want to feel it's not real but pain really hurts and am reminded that it's real....

Somehow the memories we shared together keep me sane with magical potions and every inch of me is holding on....

I was the fuel and you were the spark

The love I can't design, my sunshine in the darkness burning out..  

Every time I reminisce I wish that you were still here and I had known that someday you'd sleep forever...

I'd have written you a thousand words to say how much I love you and a thousand more to say goodbye but I guess that is so much for wishful thinking and slowly it sinks in that life is not always a bed of roses but you were the soil in my garden.

If wishes were horses

 If wishes were horses

We'd all be happy and in love

No one would have to cry or fall apart

If wishes were horses

Sugarcoated "I love YOUs" would be very obvious

And we'd all be conscious

If wishes were horses

All of our loved ones would be alive and no one would have to die

So we could all be happy together

If wishes were horses

We'd all have what we wanted and never had to suffer from heartbreak

If wishes were horses

This begger would fly to the moon to catch a star for the one I love

I'd clone a dozen for you .

If wishes were horses

I'd always have you by my side

And we'd never have to miss each other so much...

If wishes were horses

The sun would be blue as the color of your eyes and you'd still be mine...

But wishes are not horses and they don't come true so never mind. 

Say a prayer and you will be fine

One last poem

Worlds

Drop

Dead..

This was once a love poem before it found itself sitting out here on a grave ... ..

From kiss to kiss

Everything that was lovely is but a grief, so brief and a delightful pain....

Iwill think about most of the times you spent with me,

Because all am left with to hold are memories but the most beautiful of them.

When you smiled

When you started to laugh

When you didn't like something and then you tried to hide it....

How your eyes would glow

The way that you're tall

The way you made me feel safe ..

Before my heart broke again and I have not died

So surely God has had his hand on me..

What arms my body longed for, and who and where and why,

I have to forget the lips my lips have kissed and who my body touched under the sheets till morning..

Explains why the moon is full of pain tonight, 

It's not the same under it's light..

What loves have come and gone from whom to who and where and why..

Still a thing I can't understand tonight....

Of unsang ballads..

This is a ballad

For the lost souls

The silent  

The people who truly love and are not loved back

A ballad for the broken

For the pure at heart and kindest souls

A ballad for the night.

Scars, pain and shame from past 

Is what consists most of our beauty.

So much that we have lost gone by to prepare us the most beautiful of futures unknown.     ....

We have looked into the eyes of death 

Walked hand in hand with fear and

Shook the hands of pain raining tears.....

Burnt our past to the love we lost

Dried the tears we shed dripping on the floor 

Searing pain, unending thoughts and hurtful reminders of nothingness.

This is a ballad for our moment,

Our only moment to correct and be better,

To accept and try again

To be confident and content,

To love the best way that we can and share with everyone who needs a care...

This is a ballad for you..

To try and make the world even better...

Nothing Lasts forever

 Time flies

Things change

Troubles end

Night falls

Sun shines

Love dies

Death arrives

Nothing lasts forever.....

I have fallen out of Grace

Floating into outer space

No longer trying to win your heart and attention...

No reason to stay

Nothing more to say but 

nothing lasts forever....

Tell me lies

Things I want to hear

Feed on my fear

Of not wanting to fall deep in love....

There's a clog in my heart, of fire and ice....

Never felt it there until I started losing you...

It was until then I realised that magic fades too fast and good times aren't permitted to last...

Nothing stays the same.

I guess it's time to refresh......

Nothing lasts forever.

The way that (You)

It's the way that you enjoy every sip off your mint tea,

The way that your hair falls into a ban and your eyes light up like stars above the sea ...

It's the way that you simply take life as it is and the way you smile all the time....

It is the way that your lips move when you try to speak and how open your mind is. Unafraid to make mistakes.....

It is the way that your hands fit right into mine and the warmth of your embrace...

The way that our lips touch when passion speaks to extremes.

It's the way that your hand falls gently on my shoulders and how your hands stroll softly through my hair..

But most of all, it's the way that we laugh and smile, how you tease me and still see me for who I really am... 

And your  presence that stops the world and bears fathomless obscure  logics of the heart....

Also love....

They say love is patient and kind
But also the truth is love is messy, jealous, wild, angry and happy,   and not bold enough to stand.

Love is life, but also death...
Everything and sometimes also nothing.....
Love is the last person that trolled through your eyes,  made you feel safe and  smile
 through your soul and then left you bleeding on sores. Love is beautiful, but also love is a liar...

Love doesn't care if you want it or not, but also, love cares when you meddle your heart in it's business.
Love is easy and effortless, but also
Love is a hard stoned road not easy to walk through.

They say it will find you but really, love is just sitting there waiting for you to embrace it.
Love is beautiful and pure....but also, love is dirty, lustful and ugly. It makes you do just exactly what you shouldn't do.

Love is the soft spot in your heart for someone, even when they do not deserve it.
The pain of not wanting to have something because you feel someone else needs it more....

Love is not roses,
It will not leave you full but empty and wanting more.
Love is a risk worth taking but also quite a bitch.

It is the butterflies in your stomach
But also , knives through your chest.

Love is everything
But also

Of Obscure logics

Thoughts.....
Torture,
Growing, constant..
My mind, forlagen.
I have found in recurring joy pain refined,
Neither of us is happy
Yet embedded in emotions of clay,
Bound to break each other and calling it love.

Pouring, glowing and burning.
That's me when I ramble through these thoughts of mine.
Trying to love right down the bone but am reminded carefully that I was told and learnt the hard way before,
Never to give all the heart for love. Wether it really is or not.

Our moments, very brief, dreamy and such a kind delight.
Never meaning more than should, equal affection never a sting  albeit coming with laughter, songs, and kisses to great commerce.

My heart in this very moment has began it's vigil though already embarked on really....
A little hope here and fear knowing fully that whatever I have done cannot be undone.
The love I dipped myself in cannot be dished out anymore,
It's messy, selfish and not as bold as I expected.

Not a minute too soon for my deflating balloon to settle down from wander.

Of Past obliviations

Let's just forget

How we once fell deeply in love and bled
How we thought the world would but never end..
How it felt to be lost in those eyes and held in those arms
How it felt when our hands intertwined
How we danced to the rhythym of love at hand...

Let's forget
The color of our skin
The pain of our past
All of our failures at last...
The things we wanted but never had..
How the sun kissed differently on our skin and how we stayed up all night to hear from the ones that meant everything in that very moment..

Let's forget
How we met
How we loved or
How we kissed slowly and breathed heavily when our bodies met
How we cried
How we prayed and how we hoped that forever would be...
How happy they made us
How insane
How crazy and madly in love we were...

And Just LIVE AGAIN.
Move past the mess and try again,
Without regrets, with a goose egg of expectations,
Feel without a care and fall without limitations, effortlessly in love and embrace the beauty of life Once again.

What could have been

Fireballs and thunderstorms
Rivers and waves
Sunrise and sunsets
Clouds and rain
Justice and freedom
Butterflies and rainbows
Roses on velvet,
Love on the brain.
Beautiful disasters...

We could have been best of friends
Loving recklessly without concern
You and I could have built walls on rivers
And bought memories with our time.

The talisman didn't stay this time...
I could've sworn that what never was and what could've been meant so much to me..
But Neptune had waves and earthquake storms to render..

So the winds blew you away with them and in a blink of an eye.....
You and everything I thought would have been vanished.
And the calmness after the storm  doesn't seem to have come with you.

If you really were different
If you took a different approach...
If you were the Ogin you said you'd be in this desert
If you meant those words you once said...
We could have been a beautiful  dwimmer together.
We could have made things happen with our cantrips of love and affection.
But you stole my thunder when you left with my castle in the air.

Of Emotional Rushes

Your words. The stars
Your voice. The chills.
Your face. The place.
Thoughts of you. Everything I wanted to be.
Conversations with you. The setting sun.
When it all began. Everything beautiful.

Hurried emotions. From mind to heart to hurt.
Everything faded to black.
Lips. I dreamt to kiss. A bucket full of lies.
Going out, getting good.
Everything I imagined.  Heaven to heaven.
Drop dead. I thought this is it.

Suddenly the walls have fallen.
Windows stollen.
There's no more pollen. My petals all shrunk.
Where was this place a day ago???

Here's to moving on. Almost fell.
Staying strong. Slayed my insecurities.
Emotionally swamped. Here's to building stronger walls.

Of Rise forms (Risen above)

I barely know how to be alive, dangerous because I know how to survive...
Am better not bitter
Ready for the weather whenever..

I found healing meant for me
When these wounds couldn't resist bleeding.
I found there's hope for the living
In every said prayer and wasted tear
Every sunrise and silent night...

I found beauty in all of these scars, realizing that they were meant for me...
Am happy some adversities were on my plate because I am brave enough to get through, maybe someone else wouldn't handle it.

I found an unending supply of Joy in not letting my circumstances define me...
Everything I have gone through was meant for me and  am not letting no man tell me what I cannot do for I defy the odds if and whenever I want to.

I found bliss in acceptance!
Acceptance of where I  come from, the mistakes I made, the bad decisions and my imperfections for I have been brought up with courage and strength of my convictions.

Everything I went through
Everything they said I cannot do
Every thing that gave me so much fear,
I rose above that and it's a little too late to be held down.

Of inscrutable beginnings TODAY

Today,
My love went to the grave,
The sun didn't shine after the rains...
Today there was an unsettled rush through my veins,
Disarray inside my head so my heaven went Hades....

Today, once again am in this place...
Where my emotions drove back to yesterday....
My feelings were chambered into emotions that died a painful death but to rise in glory!
Today I rose with my Halo....

Today marked the end of my dreaming, thinking and wishing that I could have been the sun that woke you up on the morning or hold your hand when you're almost falling....
Today my thoughts went out on the ebb...
From a lover's imagination ...
Today, I began my journey of realization.

Today I bought a smile with the pain
That came along with thinking that you were heartfelt....
But regardless of what your painted picture dented,
Today was the first day of my Triumph!!
My emotions re born
A life began.

*Of inscrutable beginnings*

Of fathomless retrogression

My walls have fallen,
But before then,
they used to talk, just about how much we, my mind and soul thought you were real...
The eerie face that seemed so real  and at the same time full of painful truth fell along with it,
Those were my emotions going down.
Every feeling turned turtle....

Breathing in the dark has been like poison to my soul,
As the antidote remains unknown, it's killing me slowly...
Now am trying to live with this space, no inbetweens, am slowly fading....

My wounds bleed
As my soul cries....
Colliding sweat and tears,
my eyes weep..
My sanity is in peril.
If my heart forgot to beat, you would be the last thing I had felt....
Because I want you to be....

Now let me waste away without those walls, for the rains to wash away these tainted emotions and grow me my flowers in Felicity.......

Thoughts of you

Been burnt before...
Never to miss how it feels to be wasted in smoke and ashes,...
Blown away from my senses, Lost stability,
But nonetheless

Here I am again
Slowly falling deeply in love
With the thoughts, hopelessly yearning and wanting nothing more than to feel that just.....
Maybe you'd feel the same way......
Am Deeply haunted by these
Thoughts of you....

The winds, the stars, shifting breezes, the rains, the beautiful blue skies or the dark nights, sounds of crickets under the moonlight, doorbell chimes, the rains dripping on rooftops, and the silence that comes with night now come with
Thoughts of you.

I do not know what it is about you that brings back these petals to life.
Nothing makes me happier than the friend I have found in you....
Not even the rains have so much power as
Thoughts of you.

My days slowly are becoming dreams...
Dreams of you my imaginary gorgeous nightmare..
Wishes upon wishes
I would succumb to your whims without contention...
Without regret.
There is nothing else I can happily think of, as my days are now crowded with rainy clouds of
Thoughts of you.