Just a girl

My wounds are deeper than your desires...
what you want is nothing compared to what i have...
I am just a girl, that walked into that store every high class person buys from
to grab a bottle of chilled water to quench my thirst.

In this paradox of life
I used to know so well,
My existence is a couple of blurred lines..
can't read my own words
I'm lost in my maze of mortality.

I drown in blood soaked tears,
I'm falling from space
Like an angel with no destination

I am sorry that i can't afford expensive clothes, classy shoes, vibrant hair, dazzling earnings n bracelets, trendy bags and scalves.....
Unable to impress your class, ur mates and maybe
your family ..

My cloud has no silver lining-
It rains too much to shine,
There's no light at the end of the tunnel-
For the tunnel is no longer mine.
Am just a simple gal, swallowed up by my own fears..

Less of a people pleaser,
not wealthy,
I am just a girl, so simple...
with nothing to offer but a heart full of love , honesty,
 care and humor mixed with a portion of mistakes...

I'm searching with closed eyes now..
sometimes my wounds try to control my soul.
I wish the scars would heal off my skin ,
They leave me broken and beaten down to nothing...

Am just a girl, that has one thing she is proud to call her own, A FAMILY

A girl with so many scars
wounded but not bleeding....
cut with so many razors in the flesh
and still able to hold my body against life's walls ...
my wounds are deeper than your desires...

 just a girl that wants to love and be loved...
to share what God has given me with somebody else...
Am not going to change for any reason....
you either take this or leave me😊 ..........
I have nothing more to offer...

Scars remind me

Defeated, wasted, broken , bruised
All because of my addictions
they've left me crying and confused,
cut through my religion
and darkened my good intentions...

What happened to my life??
it's more than makeup staining my eyes....
i wana be in a better place...
not to live this way, all alone

Disregarded, overlooked,
am sinking lower and lower
the shame has left my face in tears n frowns
I hide behind the voice that tells me, KEEP CALM NO ONE KNOWS
but only I know, the guilt that haunts me,
my conscious screams aloud!!

I've had forgotten all i have been given...
Feel like letting go....
my character is at stake..
I am trying to run, make an escapade

But through all of this
He has never left my side,
my face he makes it like others, His word spoke to me,
 i can feel some healing
am recovering...
brought back to life,
He heals the broken, with arms wide open....

Today is another day...
to learn from my mistakes,
to learn that I am not forsaken......
I can rise above the world below...
Those scars remind me who I am.....

Hate mail

The blade of rage flows down my wrist,
every single time i see your name or updates,
like am playing a violin of flesh.
A red river rushes down my arm and floods in my palm...


No matter how much i ignore,
my body is filling with hatred, i truly hate you
yes you've heard me....


my eyes are weary, illusions are all i see,
or am i just hallucinating??
my heart aches with regret from all the memories that were left

Choking on words
strangled by long lived lies
blinded by the insidious smiles
that i keep gettin from a bunch of fake friends
who just talk shit behind my back
I hate those too

I hate you for your likes and your comments
i dnt know what you will call me....
but if you give people your fake smiles and act all supportive when all you do
is poison them,
Hell is the place that suits you well


so am sending you this hatemail
hope it makes you pale
cause i wish you could just end up in hell
cause that place suits you well....😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
now go ahead and hang yourself

The naked Truth

I sit alone for quite long
with a darkened heart,
it always feels like
 a Heavy cloud just covered the skies
the rains are forming up wildly
its gonna rain.......

my heart beats so hard like the thunder storms
its becoming scary in here,
a sharp spark of lightening strikes hitting my chest,
these sharp pains....
i can barely breath.....

Its the fear of the unknown
i did what i had to and now they will know,
i can't face the world anymore
the storm is unbearable

I have sinned with my body and mind
trapped by guilt and shame
everything else is the same,
by why am i the only I that can admit it???
bells ring in my head, but the memories, none of that i can remember....



I tamed myself 'dark child', my soul is cold
i have this thirst for blood
thick enough to run down my vains, cause clearly am getting drained.....
too many fingers pointing and poking me,
my body is sore.....

But this is the truth
I can't bear feeling this way
i dont know what am thinking
Its gonna rain now
my eyes feel heavy,
guilt, shame and regret keep reminding me
that am a child in darkness,
beautiful with my blackness.....
i posses kindness but of what use is it if am surrounded by darkness??

Am a mess,
but il give u a message,
you can hate me, rate me
leave me and tame me because of what i may have done
but one thing you will never
take away is my possession
my dignity and my happiness

when all hope gets lost
something reminds me that there is a God that loves me with this darkness,
just the way i am..
be reminded, before you judge others,
think about what you did the other day

Get over it

Sometimes what we are looking for is just right before our eyes. We just don't see it, because we let our eyes flow like rivers at every tiny bad thing that gets in our way....
wipe out those tears n get a clear view!!!!
‪
Remember, every ending is a a beginning of something new. who knows, maybe that heart break, is gonna turn into a relief of your lifetime and perhaps the disappointment just pavedway for an eexciting appointment of your life?

Time and chance comes to all, so instead of sitting down there and crying and regretting over spelt milk, get up, and move way head on!! you deserve better.
If you can't change it, give it to God and go to sleep.

                       love Lisa.

The darkest part of me

Started with a drop of salt and water from my eye,
A TEAR.....
the day i like to tame the saddest of all,
after the flame died away
that is when sadness, loneliness and darkness filled my soul....
all i felt was the cold..

The darkest part of me...
was lit up immediately..
understanding me is quite impossible
for if all i hide and feel was to be spoken,
you'd all stop for a while not to smile, perhaps walk a mile and fracture at every word I'd speak.

my cloud has no silver lining
it rains too much to shine,
am hidden behind a mask,
strugling to come out,
am a burning flame, a dark rose..
praying endlessly for benediction...

My twisting emotions
are ever in motion...
my fears haunt me, they try to break my word and kill my dream
guilt points to me with a long bony finger..
incages me in darkness,
am lost in my maze of blackness....

while my world crashes down
something new has come in my life....
the desire to kill all the demons n my mind away
the urge to thrill, i must melt down these hills
somebody out there forgave my sins..

Deep down my heart and inside my soul...
a new life must begin, i want to learn , i want to search
and find something worth living for.

But first Lord i need forgiveness, the strength to let go, be free and love again....
Everything is bound to break sooner or later...

I am not perfect

I am not perfect...
I make mistakes
I fall on my face and
in every mess,.
i may curse myself...
but through it all, i brace my soul with His grace....
I am only Human.....

Please don't expect me
to Act like superman
am not a good actor...
Sometimes i could be right
most of the times i am wrong
thats because i love to ride along...
Even when am truly alone..😔

I am imperfect
in my desperate times, i give in to desperate measures....
Then i fall on my knees to weep and bleed
then stand up and become stronger....
So when i learn,
don't expect me not to stumble and fall,
am on my own but i stand to be corrected..
so to find my way up again...

Sometimes...
my presence hurts others,
my opinions may not matter
and my happiness saddens others..
but that wont stop me from being the best i can be..

I relieve in sarcasm...
my words are not too nice,
usually because i replace that flatter with the truth.😀
am less diplomatic
and hell yeah i could be dramatic
i have some kinda magic and darkness..
I am not perfect...

Am a copy of a triangle,
consisted of three angles,
the good, the bad and the ugly part of me that most of you would never accept and believe...
i am not perfect...

So i dnt expect you to judge me, or raise a finger on me
especially if u dont know me,
my name, you can spell
but my story you cannot tell.
i may be a misfit
but am worth it.

I am not perfect,
I totally accept it ....

Because of obsession

There is an obscure logic of my heart...
I cnt really see what's in my past, I know i must look back
and see what i have done
but no! am choosing ignorance this time...
Some things i did out of anger,
and probably the hunger to learn, to go through
and to discover......

Trying to obfuscate my past
am an adult now........
I try not to face what i have done, and what has happened to me...
because clearly i can handle what has become of me..
 my heart pumps fire,
My veins dry out with desire and thirst for blood...
thick enough to quench this fire..

Some words i never really mean them,
some things i did so i could burn them, to discover and later maintain my squeaky
clean image...
trying to fit in..
seemingly beyond my will to control.

Am a broken record,
full of damaged pieces of
broken promises and empty words,
seemingly perfect yet covered in dark clouds full of lies,
white walls without doors...
In a place i cant run from
THE pAST...

My body is a victim
carrying in my Life's system
far from that of an angel
that some people are....
soo vulnerable , been used
probably misused and misread ..
they toil with it but they cant reach my heart...
it's valiant
its valour picks me up and reminds me of how much value i posses...

The Demon that tried to befriend me,
it left me, found no reason to be wth me..
The eyes i have see no fear,
they look at wrong and yet see good in it...
In total blackness, i see beams of light directing me.
Theres nothing to hide,
the guilt beneath my fears
it beseechs the benevolence
that i poses...

I stumble and fall
break and bleed but nothing
cuts me open,
the most important thing...
Am only human..

well the truth is,
i have my own piece of the story....
am not perfect, i am fond of bending rules,
guilt is my friend, but am trying to divorce it...
All the fifthy things i have dne remind me
That God's mercy and love is beyond my mistakes ..
so i have learnt that obsession is the worst destruction of me...

My Travel piece (The beauty of Nature)

The nature of nature
is the nature i simply dont understand...
Its amazing
i can't stop gazing

at the trees nd their branches,
the hills and their bushes...
The sweet fresh air oozing from them....
its the beauty of nature that
excites me....

Traveling through these roads with goosebumps...
not even feeling these bumps...
My eyes are stuck out the window,
even the wind knows....
The beauty and nature of nature...

incomparable,
nothing can compete it whatsoever....
i say its unbeatable coz even the view out here is unbelievable....
its like plants are talking somehow...
sending messages to my heart
then to my soul,
i feel at eaze,
this is what i need....

The beauty of nature
and its nature...

Nobody cares

I have black messy hair..
swelled white eyes
usually in my sweater
a girl that nobody bothers to understand
but who cares??
my nose still catches the air..

Its like my words hurt people around me
so i keep my mouth taped
with my fingers crossed over my lips...
they dont even know me,
yet they placed me behind dark curtains ..
that am certain

My soul usually hurts
its the pokes of those fingers that they keep pointing at me,
easily and always judged
but i keep no grudge
perhaps you should read my story....

i have quite a smile
i guess it just keeps me alive when in despair..
my type is rare
but nobody cares......

You have no idea what i have been through...
where the darkness in me lies,
theres a light that outshines it.......
but nobody cares

I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME

Lord i need you to hold me

In my foolishness,
you are the wisdom that stands for me,

In my fears,
you are the eyes that see beyond the darkest part of my heart,
you direct my feet where to step and how to move on...
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME

In my sadness and sorrows,
Lord u are the voice that whispers to my heart and soul
and reminds me that i am worth dying for..

Lord when i am broken,
you are the miracle that i need,
you put all pieces together
and you make me whole again....

In the times am doubtful,
you are my surity,
my strong tower, Always giving me the answers i need ...
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME.

When they say am not pretty,
you remind me that am the apple of your eyes,
that am beautiful and was created in ur image...
the best of creation..

When i am drowned in sin, shame and judgements,
you still look at me with love, your arms wide open and ,
you remind me that am a daughter of a King, Accepted...
I Am Yours God..
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME

In my loneliness, u wrap me up in your arms and comfort me....
You never leave me..

when am needing,
you are the help that comes my way at the right time

When people see the worst of me,
you bring out the best in me.
you are my hope,
when i stumble n fall,
u raise me up all over....
again and again...

Am lost without you
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME..
For I know that it is your love and faithfulness that has brought me this far...

For this, i lay down my life before you...
and for the rest of my life God,
I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME